A day the office.. Dealt with relationships, expectations, learning through pain, parent - child, parent - child, parent - child. Which reminds me that nothing important gets handled "once and for all". I was reading an article about John Gottman's work with couples and it said 69% of all marital issues never get solved. In 4 year intervals the only thing that changes is the hair and the clothes.
That was one of the things I reminded the group, women marry thinking he'll change and he doesn't and men think she'll never change and she does. That led to a discussion on expectations and how they keep us from being happy. When our life doesn't live up to our expectations we always think there is something wrong with our life, never our expectations. And , yet the only thing we can change is our expectations. None of us expect that life will be difficult for us and, eventually, will lose the things that matter most. One woman in the group had to put her beloved pet to sleep and she said that the unconditional love and acceptance she got made her want to give that kindness and acceptance to others. I pointed out that, as Rabbi David Wolpe stated " you don't want to come back from hell emptyhanded." To go through pain and not learn anything is a waste of pain. That's another thought - why do we only learn through pain. Why must are blessings come in disguise, why can't they come right out in the open- ''hey I'm a blessing!" Another thing we have to work at - finding our blessings
